| The Chick Flick:
The main relationship is between a man and woman |
The Macho Movie:
The main relationship is between a man and his sworn enemy (or sometimes his sub-machine gun and/or sports car). |
| There are lots of close-ups so you can see every emotion on the character face. |
There are lots of long shots so you can see every bit of blood, bone and grey matter that explodes from the character face. |
| The villains are people you see everyday, like cheating husbands and nasty bosses. |
The villians are people youl probably never see in a lifetime, like Arab terrorists and man-eating aliens. |
| The villain worst act is something awful like sleeping with her best friendpouse. |
The villain worst act is something awful like stealing a nuclear weapon. |
| A chick flick always includes child actors so they can add humanity and warmth to the story. |
A macho movie includes child actors so they can be kidnapped and add suspense to the story. |
| The characters learn to respect one another through long talks and thoughful actions. |
The characters learn to respect one another by beating each other up. |
| If someone gets a disease, it's inevitably cancer or heart failure. |
If someone gets a disease, it's inevitably a rare form of radiation poisoning or an exotic parasitic infection picked up in space. |
| There will be at least one emotional death |
There will be at least 20 unemotional deaths |
| There will be at least one grunting, gooey depiction of childbirth. |
There will be at least one grunting, gooey scene of hand-to-hand combat. |
| The chick flick will feature at least one scene where the lead character interacts with her mother. |
The macho movie will feature at least one scene where the lead character interacts with a digital readout counting down to zero. |
| The climactic scene involves an explosion of passion. |
The climactic scene involves an explosion of a building, bridge or other structure. |
| A happy ending is when the lead character finds love. |
A happy ending is when the lead character finds the villain and blows him to smithereens. |
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